What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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Roses and red, Violets are blue, This type of poem, Must always rhyme.

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Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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A black man and a white man walk into a job interview. Neither of them get the job due to lack of skill in the field.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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