What's big and white and can't climb trees? A fridge.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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A black man went into the sea. What did he become? Wet

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender refuses to give the woman alcohol because he acknowledges a health risk for her unborn child.

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Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

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There once was a man from peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he awoke with a fright in the middle of the night to find he had eaten the gel packets that came with them and died of cancer.

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What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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what did little billy say to susie? "why, hello susie."

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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wat did the farmer say to little lucy? I'm about to rape u, don't scream

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A girl's opinion is respected.

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Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? Pizza doesn't scream when you put it into an oven.

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A black guy walked into a convenience store. He then found what he wanted, and paid with his credit card.

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You know what they say about guys with really big feet? They own big shoes.

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Q: What's grey and looks good on policemen? A: A stylish grey hat.

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How many bodies can you stuff into a oven? Who tries figure that out? I'm calling the cops.

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While driving at night, a man accidently runs down a young child. Devastated, he runs out of the car and begins to break down. He screams up at the sky "Why God? Why?". And God says nothing, because he's not real.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? Generally one, but as the situation varies so does the number.

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Which is Taller ? the Giraffe or the Lion is faster ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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