Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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How do you know a baby is dead ? When the dog plays with it more!

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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Today I decided to burn alot of calories. So I found a fat kid and lit him on fire.

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house. Just kidding. Micky Mouse isn't real.

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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