Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? Twister

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the two fire men say to each other whilst a house was burning? Well be better put that fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I avhe dyiaexls.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops