Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

What do you call a black guy with a gun? A soldier.

Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

Doorknob.?/111111!!!!hrfuasdyfgasdkhfgawihbrtpaeyrgfai;yegf;gtf L Like or I will killl you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoa! A talking carrot!

whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

Why didn't Superman save the world trade center? He was in a wheelchair.

hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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