Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What the kid with no arms get for christmas? A baseball and a glove to go through with his dad

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A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

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A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

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Knock Knock Who's there The Holocaust!

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

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What was Hatsune Miku's last word? bokuwaumaresoshitekizukushosenhitonomanegotodatoshittenaomoutaitsuzukutowanoinochivocaloidtatoesoregakisonkyokuwonazoruomochanarabasoremoiitoketsuinegiwokajirisorawomiageshiruwokobosudakedosoremonakushikizukijinkakusurautanitayorifuanteinakibannomotokaerutokowasudenihaikyominaniwasuresararetatokikokororashikimonogakietebousounohatenimieruowarusekaivocaloid...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

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What does ms colot like to eat? Pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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