My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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What did Juliet tell Romeo before they kissed? Kiss me Romeo

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What's the same between a grape and an airplane? they both have wings but the grape doesn't

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A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

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your face is kinda funny

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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hi

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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Rebecca Black

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Q: Why did the cheerleader drop her pom-poms? A: She was knocked unconscious from behind and repeatedly sodomized by a convicted rapist.

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Why did the cat eat himself? He was hungry

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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