Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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i'm on the sea food diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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3 Jews walk into a bar. Few minutes later a penny is dropped. This resenct occation causes a bar fight to brake out.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man walk into a bar, the bartender asks what they would like to drink, after respnding, paying and receiving their drinks, they sit down to drink them. What a lovely scene of ethnic diversity

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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what do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?............Gangrape

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A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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