Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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How do you make someone cry Take all of their belongings

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Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

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How do you escape prison? Kill everyone in it hen once you have escaped find their families and viciously murder them. Are they going the send you back to prison? No because you will kill everyone.

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what does it mean when Justin Bieber sounds like a boy someones hit puberty

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Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops