Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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go F*** yourself

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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Q: What did the priest say to the small child. A: Rite?

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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how did the turtle die? it drowned itself

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whats the difference between a flamingo ? because the pyramid has a high cholesterol

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

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guhhjghkjghjgkwefyuwefgehdfbfryfgwdfhdbfadhfbewifoyqgefhqjdbsjdkdfbnqerwifuqbdjsa wuefgeyfgdshkjjhgfiuyegfdhfbdksabnfehwbfeiofqwrypweqiryewpiryewufhdjfbxncmsbahewf bdcuhbwewhuxnyfurgbcyuiwfbewcyiubnyfeurieixybnqweircbnewociuxnbweu crbweyuicyxbreuwxcybewuoiqbyxeowucybnqweucbnowieywicybrqweiubncyqoweubnrcyuowiebno

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What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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roses are red, violets are blue, tom cruise is gay

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whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

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What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Women's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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