A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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penisvaginaorgasm

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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Two men are sitting in a bar. They finish their drinks and pay the bill before leaving.

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Kathy Griffin.

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Roses are red Violets are blue There are other flowers in the world But you wouldn't know it from this poem.

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What did Uncle Timmy give to Little John for his birthday? Sodomy.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

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What do you call a blond in a library? A girl that likes to read.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? A family friend paying a visit.

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A blonde girl is lying dead on the floor with a potato peeler in her hand, what killed her? Substance abuse and loneliness.

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what did the Hispanic man say to the black man? hello

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air.

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a trick question: feminists can't change anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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