What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

TRENT EGENLAUF IS a LITTLE BOY

what has genitial warts? me

Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

what did the photographer tell the model? You're ugly.

Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

Q: What did the German say to the Jew? A: Guten Tag.

What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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