A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

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why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

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What did the black man do after the white guy told a racist joke? Laugh

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Poop

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

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Don't think of granny porn

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what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ, your lord and savior.

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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