Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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Charlie Sheen is winning

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

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What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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What do you call a snake at a snail convention? A snake at a snail convention.

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So I saw my asian friend at the beach on a really sunny day, so I said hi.

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

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What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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