There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

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Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

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Sloths

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

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Why was the young girl? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Whats black and smells like white paint? A) Black paint!

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Whats worst than the holocaust? What? 6million Jews.

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How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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