What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Hellen Keller have babies? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +226

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happens when you walk by two black men? You walk by two black men.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it was a refrigerator. Why did the little girl die? Because she was hit by two monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why do circles make such good friends? A: They don't. They're shapes and there cannot have friends

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the funniest part about this site? You're alone and reading this joke instead of getting a date.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

thumb_up thumb_down +82

oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Who is so stupid they could literally be classified as mentally retarded? Evan Lovro

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What does 1+1 equal? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the stranger sexually assault the woman? --Because he was a sexual predator..

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression the other day.... It made me sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,497

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops