roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Did you hear about the guy who did a backflip off the cliff? He died

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

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What did the black guy, the latino guy, and the asian guy all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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What's wrong with Barney? He's big and purple.

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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What happened to Jim. He died his funeral is tomorrow.

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What do you call a strait man that is also gay? Bisexual.

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John: Do you like Cake? Sue: Yes. John: Alright.

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Moo! I'm a goat!

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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