How many chickens does it take for a cow to count on Tuesday? The same reason a horse got fired for seven plus one blue red green.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

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Why do the children cry at dinner time? Becuase there mother forces them to eat her own faeces and takes pictures of them doing it and posts it on the internet.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Q.what does the kid scream when he see's a creepy man in a big van pull up? A. ICE CREAM!

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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kcuf read it backwards

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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AND

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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Why mommy upset cause wet and sticky make mommy upset

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banana

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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A blind man walks into a bar and a table and a lady....

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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