How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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Jellybeans

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want to hear a dirty joke tommy fell in the mud a clean joke he took a bath with bubbles bubbles was his neighbor

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TWATFROST HOLOCOSTME sOME MONEY TO GET A BOOB JOB HAHAHAHA BALOWJOB

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What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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