What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a piece of pizza? Because the pizza was on fire.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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