What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

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Flying aboriginal on a magic carpet

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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How many batteries does it take to run a car 1 a car battery

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Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

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What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in my garage? 11 dead babies in my garage

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops