What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

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Why cant Hellen Keller Drive? Because shes a women.

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

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Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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An American, an English and a Scottish got in the bar and ordered the same drink. After that they left.

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How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? A 6ft tall black man who recently escaped prison that is requesting asylum in your lovely mansion. sounds legit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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