I lost my tractor.

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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drugs sex alcohol are as funny as AIDS

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a man walks into a bar, he tells the bartender "im not a part of this SYSTEM"

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A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

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How do you have sex with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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A Black man, a Mexican, and a Midget, get in a car. They drive to the county fair and get snow cones and have a really fun time.

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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What's black and blue, and read all over? The Merriam-Webster dictionary.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you look like a product of incest

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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Your mother is a man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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