Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Nothing, it's still a dinosaur! Her sexual orientation is regardless. ~kyle hudson

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

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You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

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Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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whats an aids victims last wish not to have aids

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Laugh.

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

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Which is the smallest? A. Jupiter B. Whale C. Cow D. Bracelet Answer: D

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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