What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Chuck Norris screams in pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is it bees travel in formation, one side is longer than the other? ... There are more bees on one side

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

HAHA SO ONE TIME... The man could not finish his story because he gets shot, and is mourned for years. His daughter was watching it all. She then jumped. And fell. And broke her knee. And then died. yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +33

poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I died shortly after writing this.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What the difference between a black man and a pizza? A black man is capable of feeding a family. A pizza is capable of feeding an American.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops