Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A. Where was Sally during the boston marathon bombing? Q. Everywhere. www.facebook.com/wowedgy

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the man with no head say to the women?

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Robin, please, get in the Batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down -16

One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the man fall over he was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man walks into Best Buy and buys a Television full price.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Woman rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the ginger have no friends? he was wearing skechers

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mama's so poor she is on welfare.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops