Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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there was once a time before tht time when there wasnt bonerss there were erectionss CC

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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Jew logic fail: Jew: We have endured suffering for thousands of years! Guy: And how old are you again? Jew: eight. Moral: If you see a goddamn moral in this one then post it yourself :P

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What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's better than getting to sleep in? Sex for the very first time.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Girl: what comes after 69? Boy: 70. Girl: no,toothpaste! Boy: ...

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There Are 2 People A lack Person And A White Person, The Black Person Looks Over At The White Person And Said, "Hi Tyrone!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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