Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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I died shortly after writing this.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why are tootsie rolls brown? because they are....

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What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

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Yo momma's so bulimic, and there's nothing funny about it at all.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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