How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

why dont we just take bikini bottom and push it somewhere else

What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

Two black men are sitting next to each other on a bench when a woman walks by. The first man says "Damn, that's a nice pair of tits!". The second man said "Yes, she does posses a supple and voluptuous bosom." The cat that was sitting underneath the bench then began cleaning himself.

A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Chuck Norris doesn't shave.

Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

Q.What do you call a beaver with a unibrow. A. A beaver........it's still a beaver

You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

What's the difference between a girl's mouth and her vagina? There is none. I want my penis to be inside both of those things.

Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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