What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out the tree, He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +16

KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

At least I dont have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a BMW and a murder victim? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the black man eat for dinner? whatever his wife makes for him to eat

thumb_up thumb_down +16

so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's gray and comes in buckets? An elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what if i told you that leonardo decaprio didnt need an oscar but an oscar needed a leonardo decaprio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(_)_)=============D

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a pig that just took a bath? Clean!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops