How do you escape prison? Kill everyone in it hen once you have escaped find their families and viciously murder them. Are they going the send you back to prison? No because you will kill everyone.

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Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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Kid: knock knock Orphan: whos there? Kid: not your parents

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Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

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What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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I would rape her

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? yea, neither has he.

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What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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What did the hobo say while giving birth? bob come over here and hold my third leg for me??

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What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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whats better than an anti joke? a joke that you find funyer than an anti joke

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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A man walks into a bar. After several hours of drinking and loud unintellegable outbursts to those around him, the man wonders off to a nearby bus stop and relieves himself. He is now a registered sex offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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