Why couldn't the old man play the piano? His arthritis caused him great pain.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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