Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt.. that kinda shit never happens

how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

Susie has Autism

Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

Jay Z: a guy eats a gluten free pickle flavored cupcake, what happened? Will ferell: no one knows what it means! It's provocative!!

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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