Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

Ya mama so fat when she went on an elevater she had no chose but to go down Hahaha I'm so so funny haha Awesome mon yeah


What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.


What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


Want more? You might be interested in...