Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops