What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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Donald Trump

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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