"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!!!! lolooloL!OL!olO!LO!Lo!l!LO!L!O11P!lOL!oO!l

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Denard Robinson

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops