Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops