A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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outside your comfort zone

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops