What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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