What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

How many dinosaurs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if you're talking about T. Rexes, you can forget about it! Their arms are too short to do anything! They can't even beat off!

roses are red violets are blue they really are

What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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