What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Why did Jimmy burn the American flag? He was Canadian.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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A gay man watches football.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops