Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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A redhead walks into a bar and goes to the restroom. She needed to pee.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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