Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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