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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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