What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)


Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

When did Dom become so brave? When he made friends

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did the young man not want to go to school? Because he had a large tumor on the left side of his face.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem about Red rosses and blue violets

that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

Is this the krusty krab? No, this is Patrick

What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

no jokes left :( ill try to make some more the ones with nude in my comments is mine

What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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