My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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