Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple You thought I was going to steal an anti-joke didnt you squidward

What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

your life

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing


How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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