How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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