Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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What did the father say to his son? ....nothing

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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