Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours Stolen propety....

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

A house comes around the corner.

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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