Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Your momma is so short, she needed my help to reach something off the top shelf.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Why can't the man get a good jod? Because he did not go to college and there for did not get a good education.

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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Reilly and Ross went up to fetch a pale of water when a triceratops turned them into bagels then ate them and later crapped them out....

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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