What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

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Britney got to the top of the building. What did she do next? She jumped off to end her miserable life

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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How do you make a mime cry? Hit him with an axe

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops