Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car. He tells the car where to go!

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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roses are red ur face is too and if u r hot my penis is going in u

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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What's both fun and a scam? -The holocaust

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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a man walks into a bar he has a drinking problem and we are all consered

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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