How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops