What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock, Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops