whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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