Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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