What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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can you pass the soap?

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you so much That is a an example of the 2nd person and the identification of plants and their colors

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

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Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Hearing the same holocaust joke seventeen times.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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