What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops