roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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William wright is Gay

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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