"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

Allah walked into AK Bar

Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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