Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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What's 9+10? 19

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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An Asian with a big dick.

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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