roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Ross.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops