What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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What is the name of Helin Keller's street, state and pet Street: Mahhehb State: Hahgre Pet: habdsa

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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silver bullet?

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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