What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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your mom.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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