Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops