What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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wanna hear a joke? me niether.

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops