Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

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Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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