I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

thumb_up thumb_down +6

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a Mexican driving a plane? a pilot you were probably to racist to work that out

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops