What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy fall off the sky scraper. It was hit by an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops