eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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