How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

What part of NO can't you understand? The part where you pronounce the 'N'.

Womens rights

Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

I would write a racist joke, but racism is offensive


Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

Have you seen Elton johns pet dog? Neither he's he.

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

A black man sees a watch that he want. He then purchases it with his hard earned money.

How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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