What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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civil rights

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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your life

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And now a word from our sponsors

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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And you honored it I see :P

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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