Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

Whats green? Mountain Dew.

What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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