why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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