The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

I don't drink. I'm not 21.

Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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