Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

thumb_up thumb_down -21

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Kameron Brown is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why do jews like weed? A) because they are used to being baked.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you do when you find a black guy bleeding on your porch? You should call an ambulance! This man is hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Obama Getting Re-Elected.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops