I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Your big dick.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Andoni was here

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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sky silverstein

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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