What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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What do black people and tornadoes have in common? - It only takes one to destroy a neighborhood.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Golf.

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What is black, white, and red all over? The Wall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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