what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

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Guess what your birth certificate really is. An apology letter from the condom factory.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzhiemers Wait, who are you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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There was a joke, one sentance, and no punchline.

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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