Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

thumb_up thumb_down

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

thumb_up thumb_down

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

thumb_up thumb_down

So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

thumb_up thumb_down

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

thumb_up thumb_down

W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

thumb_up thumb_down

The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

thumb_up thumb_down

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down

Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops