Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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Walt disney Walks Into A Bar, The Bartender says "WOAH ITS WALT DISNEY!"

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What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

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How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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how many girlfriends does robert dupra have? none becomes his sister doesn't count trololololol

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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