Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops