Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

How do you make a baby fly? Hit it's mother in the stomach.

Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

What's so great about twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was tired of working for the man.

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

What Happens when you shoot a deer? It's Dead

An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

How do you fit four gays on a barstool? You turn it upside down

Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

how did the asian man get on the internet? by opening his internet browser just like everyone else

A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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