Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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I'm Coming

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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can you pass the soap?

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How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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Why did the car stop To buy drugs

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What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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