What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Choir.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops