Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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You're a big fat monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops