If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

Girl 1- why was 6 afraid of 7? dog- ..................................(doesn't say anything because dogs can't ruff)

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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