A Jew buys something that is not on sale

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops