What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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