WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -19

roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A white man walks into a bar. Then he gets a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops