what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

Knock knock Fuck off!

Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

Whats green? Mountain Dew.

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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