Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

Suck pussy

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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