What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the deaf person see? He was blind too, so he didn't see anything.

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What did the librarian say to the three black men in the library? Nothing. Those three men were Harvard graduates and were very respective of libraries, and thier policies.

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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Why were people laughing when Muhammad Ali signed autographs for his fans? He was making jokes regarding his Parkinson's syndrome in order to elevate an otherwise melancholy experience for the audience.

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A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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Robin get in the batmobile!

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops