What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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White men's rights

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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NEVER

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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