whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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Where's Wally? In a children's book.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

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What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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