you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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