What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because chickens just walk places. they have no agenda.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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Why does Tim Tebow kneel and pray after there's a positive outcome of the previous play? No, seriously, why does he do that?

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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