Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

Ross.

Why did hitler cause the holocaust? YOLO

jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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