How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

Hello

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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