How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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