How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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a man checks his mypsace

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Andoni was here

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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