If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you go into the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What do you call people who play dance dance revolution? Dancers

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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