roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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What's the best way to suprise your friend? Shove a banana up his ass.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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