A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

thumb_up thumb_down -33

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

thumb_up thumb_down -35

there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

thumb_up thumb_down -37

One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

thumb_up thumb_down -41

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops