What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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I have a really funny joke.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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