If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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