Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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outside your comfort zone

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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