Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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What do you call a successful black man who owns millions? Either a criminal or a fictional character.

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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Which is funnier: a sack of coal or a sack of old clothes? Neither is particularly funny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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