Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...