Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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What did the little boy get after falling and hitting his face on the ground? A prolonged nosebleed. And Leukemia.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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STFU Stop Tickling Fuzzy Unicorns they really don't like it

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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Kevin and Ramin

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A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops