Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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Anti Jokes = Drained

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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