What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

Math Quiz! If sally was born on September 18th, 1997, how old will she be on her birthday? Leave your answers on her grave tomorrow.

What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

I haven't left my basement in 29 years

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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