A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

How do you stop a man from jumping off a building? Push him off a building.

What's grey and can't fly? A Parking Lot.

If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

What's your blood type? Red.

Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

What's the deal with brown?

What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

A wealthy businessman gets into an elevator with a poor, ragged janitor. They take the elevator up 19 floors. As the businessman leaves the elevator, he turns to the janitor and says, "Good day to you, sir."

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

Why did the black man scream in church? He felt like it.

Miley Cyrus is Twerk Queen

roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

Many men trespass on my property to taste my milk based beverages. They insist that it's quality is superior to yours. I could teach you how to make such milk based beverages, but I would have to levy a fee.

Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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