How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Oh, I was just asking.

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Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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why was their a child on the sun? There wasn't he would be incinerated

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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