A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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Take part of what?

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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