What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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Knock knock. Its open.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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