- Anti Joke

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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