A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

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Pop Fiction last words. guess who edition: "Okay okay you win again Batman! Ahahaha hohohoho hehehehe! Wanna hear a new jo... Eh... what are you doing with that gun?" "Why did I not just take a step or two to the side during the five hours and over thirty episodes he kept charging that Kamehameha?" "Bah I cannot die as long as my ego is full! Are these really the ratings on my latest game? H0moerotic? Childish? A sociopath? Oh man..." Moral: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the moralmanBitch! HOAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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I'm rick james bitch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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Click here for free sandwich.

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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