What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

Where does Mario go after you finish the game? Drug rehab.

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

if you are reading this your wasting your time

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

whats orange and cant talk? an orange

A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...