2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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This guy gets on a plane and leaves he takes a bite of a green Apple and says to sower then he takes a bite out of a red Apple and says to sweet so he takes a bite of a gernade and says to crunchy so the plane lands and he walks past a little boy crying and says little boy why are you crying because a green Apple came down and hit my dog in the head so he's walking along and sees a nether boy crying and says little boy why are you crying cause a red Apple came down and hit me on the head so he's walking along abd sees a little girl laughing little girl he says why are you laughing cause I farted and the building be hind me bluw up lol ????

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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