So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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emma brown i did tap that shit -jackson edwards

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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