What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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9/11 my birthday

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops