What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances, one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends PS: the one above was wrong sorry :(

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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