How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops