What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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It's all Taggart

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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