Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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pobody's nerfect

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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