Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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