whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he raped her

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why didn't Lebron James give me a fourth quarter?...he forgot his wallet at home and didn't have any spare change.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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