What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops