What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...