Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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