How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Death by kayak

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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Cripples are lame.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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