Death by kayak

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

my penis

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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