What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Yo momma is so ugly that she uses it as motivation to work hard and thus for achieve more than a lot of whores do

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Whats happening when you see your TV floating at night? You are probably suffering from some sort of mental disorder which causes spontaneous hallucinations and should seek medical help before the condition worsens.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops