Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops