why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why do the Chinese eat cats? Because it is a good source of protein that is relatively easy to obtain. Really, it's not much different than killing pigs for food.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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How old are you? 7

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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