Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

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Yellow People !!

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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