What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asks the bartender. "I'm a horse, it's genetic." replied the horse, confused at the bartender's infantile understanding of evolution and other species.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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I have a horse.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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