How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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