Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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12345678910111213141516171819whatcomesnext

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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