How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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What do the Chinese call "Ping Pong"? Ping Pong

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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Have you heard of the dog that sounds like Megan fox? No Oh, well ummm apperantally there's this ummm dog that sounds like Megan fox. So ummm yeah. Pretty interesting stuff

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Who doesn't love finding money in your pocket when you go to put your pants on? a rape victim

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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