An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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