Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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What happens when a black guy jumps you? Well its no diffrent to when anyone else jumps you!

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woman's rights

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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