What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

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i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

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Ross.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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