Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops