When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

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Why did the boy stop working on a farm? His country became more economically developed.

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Romans rights.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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