A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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How does Hitler like his juice? With pulp

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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God is real.

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Pickle

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Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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