What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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