How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Hi

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A comment saying "I don't think that's an anti-joke"

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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