Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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