Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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