Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

if you are reading this your wasting your time

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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