a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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