What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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what do you call 4 black people pushing a car uphill? unfortunate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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