What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but it was delicious.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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