LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Weaner

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops