What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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