I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

A young baby died.

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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