What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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a man walks into a bar, it hurt.

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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What's red and has two legs? Half a cat!

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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