Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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