A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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Why do dogs bark? Idk why? Cause there dogs

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What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops