Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops