roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

My mom

Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

Why? Because.

Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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