How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops