How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Why are women such horrible drivers? Their hair gets in the way.

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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So, two men walk into a bar. But the midget walks under it.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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a black guy, a handicap, a pervert, and a fat guy are sitting in at a booth in a bar... Your watching family guy

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A stranger pulls up next to a little boy walking home from school. The stranger offers the boy a ride home. The boy says yes, gets in the car, and is driven home as promised

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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