Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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