Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Why? Because.

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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like if your cool

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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