Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

The word "Walter" is never funny.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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