A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Feeling alone fast after opening your mouth? Feel that people ignore your conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say AHAH!... And Uhuh, and I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND! Now YOU CAN BE APPRECIATED INSTANTLY BY A BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE SAYING!

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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Listen jackass (and do not take that too personally, you are trying at least, but trying and not succeeding is not enough) The underground society was crushed, devastated from within, and the crimes committed against it from everyone from the FBI to the Vatican state where never exposed to the mainstream media, we where hunted down like dogs, and like dogs, many where killed without motivation. What you are doing wrong is that you are watering down what was a solid foundation, by allowing everyone to become part of your little "order" you are not setting the strict guidelines required necessary to keep things, yeah, fuck. IN ORDER, and again, by not explaining the methods you use to draw people towards you, you are brainwashing them, but then again, if you begin teaching these methods to everyone. THEN EVERYONE can become a fucking "Axel Knight", and much worse, start worldwide religions based on brainwashing! It is not about elitism, but it is not about allowing everyone to join the fucking "Order" either, people abuse you, and they abuse your information, in order you abuse them in order to keep yourself safe, and become the rat trapped in a hole in his own mansion like you have become. The order was meant to die, not to be kept alive on a fucking iron lung! Without a solid base of power, all you are doing is holding into something that is slowly dying no matter what you do! And no, your amorally gained wealth wont change anything! Now, why I use my methods to write? Because I am a fucking writer, an artist, I use the methods I myself was a great asset in developing, which allows me to convey, describe and express FICTION as if it where real, as accurate as possible. In no goddamn fucking way do I use my methods to keep a already dead "order" alive by inflating my achievements or offer people some "six million people promised land". You know that the underground society never had nearly as many members, and it was never meant to have it either, it is not about the numbers, it is about dedication, it is not about wealth, its about information and keeping it safe from those that seek to abuse it, while drawing forth those that can use said information responsively. Six million people, you should be ashamed, If it is a goddamn lie, its good as far as I am concerned, I do not expect better from you, but if there is the slightest chance it is true, then you are trying to share your vision with the whole world. And that includes those that seek to abuse it, you are teaching politicians, generals, priests random cultists how to influence and brainwash others even better than before. If that does not give you some pinpoints, you fucking dissolve whatever is left, then you are incompetent and deluded, and again, your fabled rise from poverty to wealth and power, does not equal competence, no amount of money can revive the underground society, wealth and power was never its ideal goal. Now, let me be, if you want more information, I want the money deposited first, but you cannot keep drawing people as some would be savior, if you have no idea what the fuck you are doing. Wealth does not equal competence.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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How to open an orange? You don't you peal it

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

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Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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