Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Little Jimmy had walked in on his parents. "Mummy what are you doing with dad?" "Baking a cake" She replied. Two hours later the cake had then cooled and was consumed by all.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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Men's rights

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Gustavo Andrade

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops