Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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