roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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How old are you? 7

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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