What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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Chuck Norris is dead......

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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How many chickens does it take to cross the road? It only takes 1 chicken to cross the road. You don't need a lot.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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