Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

poo

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

you know whats not funny white boards.

what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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