What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Bitch

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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