What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Ross.

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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