What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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Justin Bieber

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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