How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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What happened to the couple that got married? They went on their honeymoon.

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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