Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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What is my name? I dont know

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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like if your cool

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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