give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Why? Because.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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