A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

A blind man walks into a library.

One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

What's better than a stick? A stone

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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