Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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(Played Basketball for 15 years) I TOLD YOU I'D QUIT WHEN LeBron Gets A RING

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

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What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

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Why did timmy's face turn red? Early that morning Timmy was brutally attacked by the local street gang which proceeded to smack timmy's face with a baseball bat and smearing the blood with a dirty rag.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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