How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive hair traits.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops