A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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