Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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