Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

wat does T.J.C.S. Mean? leave an comment to answer

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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