What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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quantum physics?

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if you don't like this you're gay

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops