What's better than a stick? A stone

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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