guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Whats black and white and red all over? Genital Warts...

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops