Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

A man walks into a bar. Suddenly, he is filled with a strange feeling, as if his life is somehow the subject of a stupid joke. He walks back out of the bar and consults a psychiatrist.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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