When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What's just not right? Left

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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