What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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