What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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