How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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Q: why are anti-jokes tasteless? A: because they have no flavoure

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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A man drives home from a bar one night, He is under the influence and his reckless driving will costs many innocent people their lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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