What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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