Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

civil rights

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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