If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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