A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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Denard Robinson

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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