Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

Who's Juan? DIS ONE

A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

Tilt your screen back .

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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