I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? One is delicious and the other isn't good for your health.

It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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