What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a doctors office He has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Weaner

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops