Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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