Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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A house comes around the corner.

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Gustavo Andrade

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops