a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops