Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

Why can't february march Because april may

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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