One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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school homewrok

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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