How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops