A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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