What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops