What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where did my tractor go.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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What did one dinosaur say to the other? Nothing and if you think dinosaurs talk you might need to be diagnosed for having Schizophrenia. Invega is a subtle treatment.

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What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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