What is pink, red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in it's eyes

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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