Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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Cripples are lame.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops