- Anti Joke

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.