Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

No

Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

Naturally I meant to say "Its no fun even when they DO scream in pain" below... What do you think I got? Pleasure? Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: Of course I got pleasure! ;) But I wont share with you!

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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