Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Jimmy Saville

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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