Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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like if your cool

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What is my name? I dont know

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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