Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops