Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Why didn't Pat's grandma go to his birthday party? Because she died last night

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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NEVER

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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