Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

Death by kayak

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

If life gives you lemonade.

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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