Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there? Overused punchline Overused punchline who? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Death by kayak

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops