Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

caoimhin is a dorty carrot

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops