Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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bite me

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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