How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he got hit by a car because he wasn't aware of the dangers of not looking both ways. Bufoon

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops