What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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