What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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miha kako si?

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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every knight i see an owl at window

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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