What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

9/11 my birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -3

i'm hard

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops