In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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