What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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everyone dislike the first joke on page one

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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