How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A praying mantis is very graceful

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A woman walked out of the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops