How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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