Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 had paranoia.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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What's 9+10? 19

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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