Should a pole bump an alarm?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What is my name? I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What's white and horny? A unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +34

a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops