Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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