- Anti Joke

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

I asked her where you were.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

Rap. Skate. Smoke.

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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