What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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What do you call a black man with a guitar? His name

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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