Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops