Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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what do hookers and bungee jumping have in common? They are both 100$ to be in/on and if the rubber breaks your screwed

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy, she has no arms

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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