What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

One, two, three, four and five

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

what did one computer say to the other .........

why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

An Asian with a big dick.

What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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