A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Knock Knock.

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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