Paper or plastic? Yes...

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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roses are red poo is poo

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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What? Huh?

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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A women left the kitchen.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops