What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Why did a little boy have a black eye? Because his father is very abusive to him and his sister. They are beaten every dad after the father comes home drunk from the bar because his wife also the kids mother died in a car acciedent 1 month before this. Child abuse is not funny and neither is a dead mother.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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2 boy once went to a party. One boy dared the other to suck all the helium out of a balloon. Today this boy is know as Justin Bieber

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a serial-rapist with links to the Black Dragon triad. Yee.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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I slept through the Dark Knight movie....turns out I was pretty tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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