Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

What's brown an sticky Shit

What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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