- Anti Joke

What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

Tunechi

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

Why does Rebecca Black like Friday? Because it's the start of the weekend

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

So a man walks into a bar... ouch

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? one's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, the other is a lawyer

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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