Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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Women's rights

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops