why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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"knock knock" "who's there" "Chuck" "Get out of here Chuck I hate you!"

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Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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