What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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autistic kids rock

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops