What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A blonde is a human woman and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used for the popular sport of bowling.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops