A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops