I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Michael Brown

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

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Gustavo Andrade

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops