Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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why was the kid laying in the middle of the baseball field? he was shot in the face then mauled by a bear.

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Is it considered sexual harassment if a midget says to a woman, "your hair smells nice"? Holy crap i don't like black people.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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