What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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Jimmy Saville

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops