What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet. You're adopted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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BTW ANders she is gone, read below, seriously! And your mother is ugly, but she is so kind to me, so ill be nice to her too... Seducing a LONE WIDOW ME 32 years she... 180 and always blushing around me? Thats gonna be hard... No seriously, I kissed her on the cheek the other day, she moaned... And she aint that old... looks like a old 40 year old. ANDERS! AAAANDEERS! CHATTERTON!!! Anyway, tell your mom, that way Ill just need to enter, kill you, and you know... make her feel like she is ... 77 again? Nah she is ahornbag so she must be younger, wont kiss her on those lips though ANDERSSSss because she smokes, the others? Sure, Ill take a pic of her squirting! From the guy that taught you how to make any woman squirt... YOu fucking asshole!

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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