whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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