A hooker walks into a bar. She orders a few drinks and leaves. She's a man.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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David Cameron

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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