How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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