Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

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So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

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Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb? 42.

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KNOCK KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? BOO. OH, HEY. COME IN. ....

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Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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