What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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What happens after Madeline McCann disappears. Jokes.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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