What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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What's 9+10? 19

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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how many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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An Asian with a big dick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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A gorilla walks into a bar. It goes on a killing spree, and is promptly put down by animal control.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops