A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

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pobody's nerfect

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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42

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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