A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q) Why are there no aspirin in the jungle? A) Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

YOU WONT GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP!!!! YOU WONT DO ITTTT

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops