Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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it

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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