what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

wanna hear a joke? me niether.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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