What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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