Why did the man have no head? It was blown off in Iraq 2 and days ago

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What's worse than the holocaust? Jewish people!

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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This is an anti-joke.

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

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Q:What did the frog say to the mailman? A:Nothing theres no mail on Sunday's.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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whats funnier than 24? your grammar, its more funny thank you.

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

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Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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What's the worst place to land when parachuting off an airplane? A. In the middle of an ocean B. In a war zone C. Inside an active volcano D. In a justin beiber concert

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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