Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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how long does it take chuck norris to watch a 24 hour video 24 hours

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Fat? Jesse Z

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knock knock who's there jehovas witness... ...I allow them into my house for a cup of tea and a chat as I respect their religion

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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