What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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whats something you really wanna call a black person it starts with an "N" and ends in an "R" A. Friend i was joking about the "N" and "R"

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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