Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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CHAD'S A FAG!!!

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Ain't idn't a word.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops