My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Your mama's so hairy, she has to shave occasionally.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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star wars kid

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Three explorers are walking through the jungle when they are suddenly captured by a group of cannibals, the cannibals, going through years of culture and hereditary custom, kill the explorers, skin their bodies, chop them to pieces and cook their flesh, finally they eat it giving them a prosperous feast while the rest of the world is unaware of whatever happened in that jungle.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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