Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Not only did 7 have that intimidating look to him, but 6 had recently found out that he was a well known mob boss who also went by the name of Lucky Seven. he was in charge of a gang called The Prime Numbers. They had been terrorizing 6's city for sometime now, whether it was stealing, mugging, or even killing or vandalism. 6 sure had a lot to fear, but he knew things might turn out well, as 6 had a great ability to try his best and do what he believed in: Justice

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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