Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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people magazine

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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How do you know when an elephant is in your refrigerator Theres printson the cheese cakes

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops