Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

These Jokes suck.

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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