Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesnt rhyme And your entire family died trying to fly to your house for Christmas. They crashed into a orpanage for death children. There were no survivors.

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Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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