knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops