A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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When The bus came by Jimmy went bye-bye

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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civil rights

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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