What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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