Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Two Mexicans are at the border and want to cross it. How do they cross it? Illegally

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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I do like haikus even when they are random refrigerator

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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