What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

haha women's rights.....what a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

white or wheat? wheat please.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops