Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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What colour is chocolate? Brown.

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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A cheerio gets a job at McDonalds and after working for a while, he gets employee of the month and goes to the district ball. While there, he meets a female(frosted) cheerio whom he asks out. She refuses because she only dates frosted cheerios. So, the male goes back to work for the next year, and his boss is happy with his work, so he asks him if he would like anything. The cheerio says yes, i want to be frosted. The boss says ok, i'll make you frosted, so now that he's frosted, he goes back to the ball. He asks the same female cheerio out, she says yes this time. He then asks her if she wants something to drink, she says yes. She wants some milk. So the guy stands in line for about 15 minutes, when he gets to the front, there is no more milk left. So he asks her if she would like some tea. she says yes. So he goes and stands in line for another 15 minutes only to find out there is no more tea. So then he asks her if she would like some punch, shesays yes. So after an hour of searching, he finds out there is no punchline......

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What is worse than being killed in a car crash? Having your girlfriend in the car with you.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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Knock Knock Who's there? UPS you have a package from Amazon. \ Oh, Thanks, where do I sign? Right here. Ok, thanks, have a nice day. Thanks you too.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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