The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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Yo mamma's so stupid she failed the SAT.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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