Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Justin Bieber

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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