Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. -Are u a grapefruit? NO!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am epileptic. SLAWWAWASWAKHINGAGAGAGAKIHARGAVBAZSAWAWAWAWAAAAA

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How do you wake up your grandmother........ You don't, she had a massive heart attack and died in her sleep

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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How does a black guy die? Unknown

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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