Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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