That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

womans having rights.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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