Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve you kind here." The black man says, "Is it because I'm black?" The bartender replies, "Yes."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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- Mommy look, I built a sandcastle! - Who cares, you have cancer.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse says "my wife has cancer"

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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whats the difference between kroush and a bucket of shit? the bucket

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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