Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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Why did the prestigious college accept the Native American student? Trick question, Native Americans don't exist anymore.

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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How do you kill and red head? Throw your mom at them!

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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knock knock come in !

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kk

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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