whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Hitler Commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed by the fact he had lost World War II.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the piece of gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

thumb_up thumb_down -33

So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops