Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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