whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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