How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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A man is sitting on his couch. The lights go out and his TV begins to float away. He breaks down into tears believing he has been cursed for a crime he commited earlier.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Urban ghettos

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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roses are red poo is poo

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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what do you call a black guy falling down a hill? A hiker with an inconveniance you racist son of a bitch

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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