how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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knock knock Goodbye

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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Burp

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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