What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Want to hear what's totally out of this world? Not wasting a whole page of space for something that doesn't even vaguely resemble a joke. [L]

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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