Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

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time to spruce up!

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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