Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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Q. Why did the man get an email? A. Because he checked his inbox.

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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