Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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