Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What was a hard time for people? the great depression

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's up? Your time.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

No

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops