Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Every Good Boy Deserves Fibromyalgia

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops