What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Jimmy Saville

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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hi

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69

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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