How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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