How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Gay rights.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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