How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

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Jesus Christ

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Cancer

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops