Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops