Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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Knock Knock Who's there? Who Who who? Hoodini

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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