Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Two babies are playing in a sand box.. They both start crying because they get sand in their eyes

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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