A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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Weaner

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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