What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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