Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

woman's lacrosse

Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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