roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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Q - Why did the baby spit out his dummy? A - Because i stabbed him.

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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knock knock Who's there? Will Nealis Will Nealis who? Will nealis continuously finds himself crying himself to sleep as reality begins to smack himn in the face revealing to him that nobody has, does, or ever will like him. He is also informed that the reason his parents left him is because he is such a flaming ginger, his nasty face ruins the atmosphere of any room he walks in to. he has been adopted by a lovely gay couple and he takes after both of his fathers very much, in the aspect of enjoying massive animal c o c k in his mouth as well as having threesomes with his dads. will goes to school everyday and is tormented for being homosexual, so when he goes home hie parents beat him....off and have lemon partys with wills grandpa as he watches and masturbates vigourously.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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So there were these two ovens in a muffin. One oven said "Holy fuck it's muffiny in here." The other oven said "Holy fuck a talking oven!"

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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