Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

A seal walks into a club.

Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

This is just like Facebook. If you guys want to like comments, or even comment on them, just get Facebook.

how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

A baby seal walks into a club.

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

Vote this up or I'll tell my mum!

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...