So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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black people

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What happens when you die? Your body gets decomposed by bacteria

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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