What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops