Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Two members of the KKK walk into the bar into a bar. The bartender asks, "what do you think of Obama?" One of the KKK members says "he is my President, I respect him."

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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