How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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you will like this because i am black.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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