ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Dora the explorer went on an adventure. sadly, all of the animals in the forest, including boots the monkey and swiper the fox, kill her as a sacrifice to an unknown God

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Cancer

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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