Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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HELLO EVERYONE

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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