What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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