What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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A man and woman walk into a funeral home. They are both very sad about the loss of their father who they loved dearly.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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How do you tell if an albino baby is black? Check his genetics.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops