There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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Why does Michael J. Fox have a good handshake? He has a firm grip

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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a man walks into a bar he has a drinking problem and we are all consered

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

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Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

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One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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