Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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like if your cool

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My mom

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wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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stinky boner

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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