Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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