Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

when life knocks you down you don't do anything because life is a mental concept that does not have the ability to knock you down since it doesn't have a physical bodie

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops