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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

Jimmy Saville

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

God is real.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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