What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

american idol

What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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