Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Death by kayak

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops