Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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Justin Bieber

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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