Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Jesus Christ

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Cancer

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops