A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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Why did the little girl fall off her bike? Because she didn't have any arms

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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Drew Knowles is gay

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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