A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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Why did the duck walk on the moon? Because it was his lifelong goal

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One, two, three, four and five

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What's worse than eating spinach? Dying.

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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