a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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