Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Choir.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didnt Jimmy go to school on Thursday? Jimmy is a vegetarian!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

thumb_up thumb_down +10

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops