Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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