Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Women's Rights

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops