Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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Justin Bieber

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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