Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Coldpaly is a good band

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A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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