Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops