What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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whats 1 + 1? 2

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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how do you make a boy cry you cut out his eyes

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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