-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LIKE TRAINS

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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