My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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