How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Gay rights.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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1,000 people get out of a plane , who hits the ground first? The DEAD guy!!!!

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops