- Anti Joke

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

Happy Monday!

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

Why did William commit suicide? Because his grandmother had recently died of terminal cancer. His mother left him on the front step when he was two, and moved to Tennessee with her baby daddy.

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

what did the man living in the box buy with his new found money? A bigger box.

Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops