- Anti Joke

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

Hello

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!