Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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