Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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