Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Q:Whats worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A: 8 dead babies in a barrel. Q: Whats worse than that? A: A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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