Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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What is black white and red all over? A zebra which a lion did not finish eating.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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