What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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