Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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What did the Banana say to the human. Nothing, because bananas are not capable of talking

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Why does Joel's breathe smell?

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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The word "Walter" is never funny.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops