Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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