How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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i saw amango it splootered

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Dey see me boilin' Dey choppin' God I'm so fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juicy So fresh and juiiiiiiccccy! MR MCCANN

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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