A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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