What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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a dog walks into a bar....it sees the horse and starts barking which ever dentally startles and confuses the horse resulting in tables and chairs being knocked over .

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

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why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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what did the boy who liked trucks get for his birthday? POOP

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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