A drunk guy walks into a car

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nothing

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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I have a really funny joke.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Jim: Why did the chicken cross the road? Bill: Why? Jim: To get to the other side! Bill: I don't get it Jim: It's an anti-joke, because you expect a punchline but there is no punchline, you get it? Bill: Hold on, let me tickle myself.......oh okay now I get it hahahahaha!

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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Whats the difference between cake and dead babies? Cakes make people happy while dead babies are a sad and disturbing sight to see.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops