A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

An Asian with a big dick.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

A guy walks into a bar

Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

A man died.

Q: How do you find the population of Mexico? A: Take a census

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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