What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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