Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

God is real.

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

A handicapped man walks into a bar...

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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