why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did they bury bin laden at sea? because he died

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Want to hear something funny? Sure, what? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

who else is on here?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people and regularly attend a synagogue and pizza is and italian food that many people find to be enjoyable to eat

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops