why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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My jeans

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A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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