Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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guess what? bannanas

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Gay rights.

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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