Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops