What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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