Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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Female Orgasms

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Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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say it ten times fast: oh

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R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

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Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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