Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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