A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

What do you get when you cross a Minotaur with a snowman? A cold mythological creature.

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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