A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

thumb_up thumb_down -11

And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Once upon a time there lived 3 polar bears; a mummy polar bear, a daddy polar bear and a baby polar bear. Ond day the baby polar bear said to the daddy polar bear "I don't feel like a polar bear, I'm cold!" and the daddy polar bear said "You look like a polar bear."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? a broken head.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

first

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops