Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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