How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

ever tried african food? they neither

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

Actually it was me Josh brown

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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