Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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