How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why did the grandma stop baking cookies? Because she is an aging widow suffering from depression because her family seems to forget her existance as she barely lives day by day wilting in her 1 bedroom home.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Balls

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops