how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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