What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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what does this mean: qiwiw98373jeu7e nothing significant, just shows the results of a mentaly disable student

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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what did the black guy say to the white comedian? haha

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Why did the baby stop crying? I hit him with a brick.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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