Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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