What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 encountered 7 in the Vietnam War where he killed 6's brothers, leaving him scarred. 6 has countless nightmares due to the numerous visions that reminisce that situation in great deal. Also, 7 had a big hook on his hand, which was very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Christopher Reeves walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -10

when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops