What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Jehovah's witnesses!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A hill billy went fishing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

richard is fag

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Seriosly. too much sex again?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the guy fall off his bike? A: He got shot!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Fat? Jesse Z

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops