why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

My mom told me and my brother to clean up o te commercial...but we were watching Netflix

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

Why was the woman worried? She was coughing up blood

Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

there was a black guy and white guy, they were walking down a street to da bus stop, the bus comes by and says where yall goin and they say 21st avenue street; so they walk away and the black guy says(in a black voice): "wait buses dont talk!"

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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