What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Justing Bieber walks in a bar. Everyone shoots him.

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops