Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How you know when dislextic

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Maths.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

And now a word from our sponsors

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops