What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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