these are shit

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hollywood today: If you Like Dragonball Evolution you are gonna love this. Peter Linkoff a 16 year old boy, is being chased by his half brother Jack Ganonbad as Peter Falls into a hole, which contains a cellphone... ...THE LINK TO PLANET ZELDA! There he discovers that he holds the Link between earth and Zelda, and just then planet Zelda is threatened by The Evil Master Sword! A Meteor so destructive, that it sheer force could destroy the entire universe! *Random scenes going by so fast that you cant make shit out of them begins* "PETER LINKOFF YOU ARE IN DANGER!" *BOOOOOOM*" "BUT WHAT IF HE IS NOT THE DELIVER OF THE BOOMERANG!" Iiiit is said... Thhaat heee that wields the lasergun known as the wooden sword...<

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Whats black and white and red all over? A: I am unsure for I am color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

thumb_up thumb_down

what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops