a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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A whole 'nother.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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whats the difference between a dead body and a car with doors that open in a diagnal manner one was never alive to begin with

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Whats more fun that a hooker - her mother

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Q: How did the black guy die? A: After a long battle with a terrible case of pneumonia he struggled to breath and died a slow and peaceful death... R.I.P. Dad

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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