How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Your mom is so fat shes having trouble getting into her own pants.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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What's awesome that's awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Ketchup What else is awesome that squirts out of a bottle? Mustard

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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