Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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Women's rights

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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