Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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