Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

who is gay wit mon james cornish

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

A black man and a mexican man jump off the empire state building.Who wins? Nobody,suicide is a serious thing and it is depressing to think that the minorities In America would do such a thing to themselves.

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

A Jew buys something that is not on sale

How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...