Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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color blind person solves a rubix cube just kidding thier color blind

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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I was raped oh no he's coming HELP ahhhhhhhhfkaek.k.k.k.k.k.k. vmruieao3 vxm v

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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