A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Why didn't Jane go to school last Thursday? It was summer. No one went to school last Thursday.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops