Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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What's worse than r-a-p-e? Gang r-a-p-e.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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True fact: every rabbit lives their whole cute life.

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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Is your refrigerator running? No.

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Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Why couldn't the black man swim? He has no legs.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

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"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops