why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

What do you call a 2 storied house ?

If the 49ers won the superbowl

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

Kids, your mother and I thought we should tell you this now... You know our dog sparky? Well he... was actually Osama bin Laden and is now dead!

A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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