roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

a irish man walks past a bar

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

I asked her where you were.

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

If you just read this, You're dead.

What's big and messy? A big mess

Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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