How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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