What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops