A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

A black man, a white man and a Jewish man all live in the same apartment block. Which is most likely to be at work? None of them, it's Sunday. [L]

What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

i found waldo.

Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

Where's my baby??

What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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