Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A small black boy was walking down the street. He ran into a police officer and the police officer shot him, why? A: Because the officer was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

thumb_up thumb_down

So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

thumb_up thumb_down

If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

thumb_up thumb_down

Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down

Im about to rewrite History....... History

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

thumb_up thumb_down

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops