What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo "who"? Boo Radley. I live down the street.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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