Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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How old are you? 7

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops