Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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chickens, roads, horses, bars,roses, violets, sally, knock, knock, fnord

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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