What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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civil rights

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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