What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

A man walked into a bar owch

oh hey.

roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers and the middle one is for u

What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

What's black, white, green, red, blue, orange, gray, purple, and yellow? My art project.

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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