there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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