What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops