What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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