How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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ERROR 3045: This joke has gone bankrupt and Is laying in the hospital//:: THE CAUSE: OBAMA CARE

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

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How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

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What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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