Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Why is the Asian 2nd grader sad? Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has 3 weeks to live.

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PyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyongyangPyong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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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Denard Robinson

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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