Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

Why did the black dude die? Because everyone must die at some point.

Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

Why was the blonde sent to prison? Well there could be a number of reasons, but I for one do not know this specific blonde so I can not help you.

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

what did the paraplegic man get for Christmas? a unicycle

Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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