Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

Whats tha difference between blacktop and an airplane wing??? Well, alot. I bet you knew that.

A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

Kidding, not trucing, Dylan sucks prick. Brock likes his mums butt.

I love you

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

Q. What did Grandmother get Little Boy Johnny for Christmas? A. Nothing. She died on Thanksgiving Day.

whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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