a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

When life gives you lemons, make beef stew.

Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

What do you call a man who has reached the highest level of prestige in all Call of Duty games? A Virgin

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

you...

What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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