Did you know, every time you close your eyes, a ghost appears. Once you open your eyes it disappears. PROVE I'M WRONG!?

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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Hey, I just met you And this is scabies So I'm prescribing you some permethrin.

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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