Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock Fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops