What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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BAr intO a wAlks… sorry I wrote that joke after walking out of a bar.

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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What do you call black people working in a field? Farmers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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