Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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