why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

Knock Knock Who's there? Do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

Johnson stops eating

What do you call a black man at the front of a bus? A bus driver

Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

A paralysed man falls over.

What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

Q: What is black and can't support a family? A: A bowling ball

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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