A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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