What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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Screw it you write the joke.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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