You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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