What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I have existed for over 6000 years and around vi0lating people long before you where ever born kid... You do not believe me you say? friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: You do not believe me? According to this DNA test... Welcome to papa son/daughter... Its time to make you a man/woman now, and then TIME TO MAKE YOU my BlTCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's funnier than 24? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops