What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog what kind of dog would it be? A Wiener Dog!!

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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-Is your refrigerator running? -Yes. -Just wondering.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops