Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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Your so stupid that when during your baseball game your third base coach told you to run home, you did. The next day, you failed your test.

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man in a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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dat shoe shine tho

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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How do you stop a black kid from jumping around in your bedroom? Chuck him out of the house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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