What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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