What did the dubstep say? Wub.

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! What's good for the goose Is good for the gander I'm Donald Trump!

what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Stubbing your toe

Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

There was a blond girl and a brunette girl. The brunette had a pink shirt that had " Abercrombie & Fitch" on it. The blond looks at the brunette and asks, where did you get your shirt?

hey im leon and i love the chuckie

Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

A man from China is learning English and when confronted by a cop accidentally answers each question with one of the few words he knows, impugning himself in the process. The cop, not being a sociopath, realizes that the chuckling foreigner probably has no idea what he has just done and hands him a dictionary to help him cope with the drastic change.

I love you You love me We all grab 2X4's Barney's on the floor No more purple dinosaur.

Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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