Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop


Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

Q:What is the differenc between batman and a black man? A: Batman can go out in the night with out robin

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

knock knock! who's there? a fat salesperson here to deliver your supplements

Whats fleash color flesh color and fleash color? a hodo rolling down a hill.

you know your just like my pinkie toe........eventually i am going to bang you on a table

Yes and no, I am into literature, I am a writer, of how to rape and kill guides for the whole family (raping the whole family that is, again instructions for the whole family with inspirational quotes) Now give an example of each book to each family member without a cover stating what the book is... ...And after the first time, the world was never the same again.

A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

cake cake and no cake, your life just ended


Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

Old, Asian, Woman who drive

Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

How come the bartender didnt let the black guys in the bar Because the bar was closed.noone was aloud in the bar

Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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