Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Bob

The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

Apple juice.

What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

A handicapp walks into a bar

What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

Yeah, I never intended to keep that a secret. What is autocast?

Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!


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