Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

A white man went to the basketball court to play basketball and was confronted by a group of black men. They kindly invited the white man to play basketball with them and they had a nice day

Doctor everybody that I stare at seems to die moments later! Uh, why are you looking at me so intensely... >:)

.der era sesoR .eulb era steloiV .sdrawkcab nettirw saw ecnetnes sihT .yrgnuh m'I won dnA

Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

Q:How many babies does it take to paint a room? A:It depends how hard you throw them

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? ProtestS from Anti GM activists.

Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

What's the difference between a black man and a bunk bed? A bunk bed is stable and can support two children.

An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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