My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

wnna here a joke, toby limbers playing basketball

What do ghosts get whaen they watch porn ? a boner

Q- Why did spongbob go to Detroit? A- He didn't, spongbob is not real. And even if he was, Detroit is not a very popular tourist attraction.

what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

How did the black person die? Of old age

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...