Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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what happened to the black man that fell of the bridge? he drowned due to the fact the african-americans do not swim very well.

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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A panda , a cheetah, a dog, a spider, and an eagle are in Antarctica.. The eagle looks around at the other baffled animals and says " What is this????? This isn't right! I'm so confused!"

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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