Why can't women play poker? Because they're freaking stupid!

A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

Cripples are lame.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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