what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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Your mums a potato

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Q: What do you get when you cross Rebecca Black and a day of the week. A: a stupid song called FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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