Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

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What happened when the Hispanic man dropped his Wollet? He picked it up

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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I used to say "I used to be an adventurer like you but then I took an arrow to the knee" like you but then I took an arrow in the knee.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

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Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

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why was the woman silent? she lost the ability to speak in a tragic boating accident in which her vocals chords were damaged thus making it incapable for her to utter anything

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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