A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Great ideas: Go to your facebook account and type in: Man, I am gonna suicide right now, bye! Moral: Now if you do it as well, nah, dont do it, seriously... Just type it!

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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Refridgerator.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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All of these jokes are about white people

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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