Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Denard Robinson

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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