Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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