A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

What is striped black and white? A prisoner in jail arrested for the murder and rape of a 7 year old child.

100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

asians have slitted eyes lol

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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