I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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Why was a refrigerator sitting on a part bench? Because someone set it there.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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How are bananas and friends alike? If you peel their skin and eat them

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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<=3 penis

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

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From the makers of Call of Duty 1, comes Call of Duty 2.

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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what's worst than being gay? being black

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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My pet rock died.

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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kkk

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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Get on your knees Ho

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Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:He didn't he was tortured then killed and turned into a sandwich that you can buy for the price of $1.00

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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